Our thanks to MCrager for his help on this page
See more of his exploits at www.desertdogs.com


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Polk's Pub Board of Directors

The Polk's Pub Board of Directors conference on Dec 22-27, 2002 was a huge success.
More coming soon!
Email me at kevin@polkspub.com

NEW!    Underground City Expedition    NEW!
Life....explained

The latest proposal  to drive the Taliban and al Qaeda  out of the mountains of Afghanistan is to send in the ASF (Alabama Special Forces).  Billy Bob, Bubba, Booger, Scooter, Cooter and Junior are being sent in with these instructions:

  1. There is no limit
  2. The season opened last weekend
  3. They taste just like chicken
  4. They hate beer
  5. They hate pickup trucks
  6. They hate country music
  7. They hate Jesus.
  8. They don't like barbecue
  9. Some of them are homosexual

And most important of all...
10. They were responsible for Dale Earnhardt's death.

Early estimates show it should be over in about two days...

NEW! Recipe Section!

The best barbeque in world!
(It's from the south)

Living in the 20th Century?
(Added 8-2-02)
(Added 5-13-02)
Dear Abby...

(Added 5-13-02)
Can you find the plane?


(Added 2-10-02)
Won't you help an Enron Executive?


 (Added 2-10-02)
Got Tech Support?


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Got Love?
Warning: The following documents contain material of a frank and explicit sexual nature. If you are under 18 or offended by sexual material, please do not access these documents.
NEW     Video Section    New
NEW   Lay's Potato Chips   NEW
NEW   Murder, Japanese Style   NEW
NEW   Michael Jackson's Face   NEW
How's your shooting skills?
Here's how to get rid of Osama
Cat + Ceiling Fan = FUN!
Got a monkey in your trunk? 3 MB
It sucks to be an eskimo 2.3 MB
Stinky Monkey .3 MB
Fuji Film Baby 1.4 MB
Redneck Chainsaw 1.5 MB
Bear Video  1.4 MB
Epson Video  .7 MB
AC 130 Gunship Video  5.6 MB
Mastercard Video  1.8 MB
Lifeguard Video  1.1 MB
Not Video, But Still Cool...
Optical Illusion  .02 MB 
(Save to your hard disk and run, watch screen for 25 seconds, then look at your hand)


WHY?

New funnies posted 5-14-01

Got Ohio?
Feeling like moving to Ohio?

NEW! When it's OK to use the F-Word

Got Grits?
A complete step-by-step how-to from an expert

Got Guns?
Make no mistake, Polk's Pub is PRO GUNS!
Pro or con, you have to read this!


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NEW Information!
Kevin, your bartender


For Our Veterans
 On 12 Jan, Ms Cindy Williams wrote a piece for the Washington Times denouncing the pay raise(s) coming service members way this year, citing that the stated 13% wage gap was bogus.  A young airman from Hill AFB responds to her article below.  He ought to get a bonus for this!

Ms. Williams:
I just had the pleasure of reading your column of 12 Jan, 00 titled “Our GI’s Earn Enough," and I am a bit confused.  Frankly, I'm wondering where this vaunted overpayment is going, because as far as I can tell, it disappears every month between DFAS (The Defense Finance and Accounting Service) and my bank account.  Checking my latest leave and earnings statement (LES), I see that I make $1,117.80, before taxes.  After taxes, I take home $874.20.
 When I run that through Windows' Calculator, I come up with annual salary of $13,413.60 before taxes, and $10,490.40 after.  I work in the Air Force Network Control Center (AFNCC), where I am part of the team responsible for the administration of a 25,000-host computer network.  I am involved with infrastructure segment, specifically with Cisco Systems equipment.  A quick check of http://www.monster.com under jobs for Network Technicians in the Washington, D.C. area reveals a position in my career field, requiring three years experience with my job.  Amazingly, this job does NOT pay $13,413.60 a year, nor does it pay less than this.  No, this job is being offered at $70,000 to $80,000 per annum.  I'm sure you can draw the obvious conclusions.
Also, you tout increases to Basic Allowance for Housing and Basic Allowance for Sustenance (housing and food allowances, respectively) as being a further boon to an already-overcompensated force.  Again, I'm curious as to where this money has gone, as BAH and BAS were both slashed 15% in the Hill AFB area effective in January 00.  Given the tenor of your column, I would assume that you have never had the pleasure of serving your country in her armed forces.
 Before you take it upon yourself to once more castigate congressional and DOD leadership for attempting to get the families in the military's lowest pay brackets off AFDC, WIC, and food stamps, I suggest that you join a group of deploying soldiers headed for Saudi-I leave the choice of service branch up to you.  Whatever choice you make, though, opt for the SIX month rotation: it will guarantee you the longest possible time away from your family and friends, thus giving you the full "deployment experience."  As your group prepares to board the plane, make sure to note the spouses and children who are saying good-bye to their loved ones.  Also take care to note that several families are still unsure of how they'll be able to make ends meet while the primary breadwinner is gone-obviously they've been squandering the vast piles of cash the DoD has been giving them.  Try to deploy over a major holiday; Christmas and Thanksgiving are perennial favorites.  And when you're actually over there, sitting in a DFP (Defensive Fire Position, the modern-day foxhole), shivering against the cold desert night, and the flight sergeant tells you that there aren't enough people on shift to relieve you for chow, remember this: trade whatever MRE you manage to get for the tuna noodle casserole or cheese tortellini, and add Tobasco to everything.  Talk to your loved ones as often as you are permitted; it won't nearly be long enough or often enough, but take what you can get and be thankful for it.
 You may have picked up on the fact that I disagree with most of the points you present in your op-ed piece.  But, tomorrow from Sarajevo, I will defend to the death your right to say it. You see,  I am an American fighting man, a guarantor of your First Amendment rights and every other right you cherish.  On a daily basis, my brother and sister soldiers worldwide ensure that you and people like you can thumb your collective nose at us, all on a salary that is nothing short of pitiful, and under conditions that would make most people cringe.  We hemorrhage our best and brightest into the private sector, because we can't offer the stability and pay of civilian companies.
And you, Ms. Williams, have the gall to say that we make more than we deserve?  Rubbish!!!

A1C Michael Bragg
Hill AFB, AFNCC
(Please cut, copy and paste this message into an email and send to everyone who believes in their freedom.